Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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