I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
