Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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