so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
