You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
