So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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