What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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