It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
