Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.

(773): View more from Illinois

You spelled "worthless" wrong.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag

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(315): View more from New York

I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?

(919): View more from North Carolina

You might end up in the wrong class.

(910): View more from North Carolina

I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.

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(831): View more from California

Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out

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(585): View more from New York

His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.

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(315): View more from New York

everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.

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