Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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