Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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