so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
