I want to have your abortion
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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