just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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