its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
