I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize