The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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