we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
