I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
