She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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