There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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