I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
