Cold hands, warm shart.
Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
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