i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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