smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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