Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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