you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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