I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
