So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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