Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
