Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
