Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
