Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
