So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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