thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
