What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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