tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
