There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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