Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i will never coherently bang her
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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