If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
