that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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