Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
