That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
