morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My liver is preforming stress tests.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
