I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
