If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
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After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
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Thank you for not boning my boss.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
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