I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
