so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
