i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
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You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
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So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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