I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
