Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize