You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
