I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
PANTIES FOUND
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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