Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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