I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
