when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
