SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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