i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
