Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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