I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
