are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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