Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize