Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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