she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
