8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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