you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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