Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just want nice things and good sex
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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