Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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