Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
