You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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