Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize