I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
