I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
